Sunday, 14 February 2010


Don’t cross during red light. Good idea, but I’m out of those, so I’d rather not waste time and get to the other side. Don’t look at me! It’s a good idea because there could have been a graveyard.

But it’s not, so field day of jollyness to be free and not click the dirty button on the pedestrian crossing semaphore. No cars in sight, so the crime does not exist like the wind nobody saw.

Don’t look at me! Ask no questions, either. It’s very rude to get in a person’s head while they’re jaywalking. Stuff may happen and you’d have to wait until the next world to have the call answered, if at all. Frankly, I doubt they have phones in the next world.

They must have bunnies, though. Bunnies are nice to see and eat. I’m not a carnivore; just a grass avenger. Are you not looking at me? Good!

Finished crossing the street, so it’s time to look forward and just try to realize what is it that I’m doing here that is actually there without a “t”. Square shop on the left. Red bricks, white logo with three yellow letters. Meh. Who reads these days? On our right we have the opposition: a row of kiosks full of half-empty shelves. Their clients advertise quality service by drinking booze on the sidewalk that surrounds the kennel-sized vendors.

Yours truly is in the middle of it all, walking along the road that separates the bricked from the scrapped. The road ends abruptly between two kindergartens further in the distance. Yes, they share both sides. The one on the right is renovated. Perhaps, to make things fair for the brick store. Competition reigns supreme, and I’m intending to pass an aisle of idle lamp posts set to illuminate the road from the left. It’s always fun to take the cold metal in my hand on a humid afternoon like this.

I grin, knowing what happens next. My foot bops against support near ground, and I take a spinning leap, circling around. Flying is my hobby, but I can’t fly when propelling myself off a lighting contraption. Indignation occurs as I slowly slide down to the ground.

Why couldn’t I rise up and defy gravity? The drunks are laughing. They probably know why, but I won’t ask. Asking questions is low and tasteless. I’m not as lost as they are. In fact, they’re probably laughing at something else.

No. They’re laughing at me.

Wait, who said that? I did. Who am I? I’m me. This is not a conversation. It’s a monologue. A monologue can’t be a conversation. There is one person, one paragraph. But the voices are two. Who am I? I’m asking me first.

I am confused. Two voices in my head: both are me. Which one are the people laughing at? Me, I suppose. Wait. That is the second voice. No, it’s the first.

Hold on. Each voice deserves a separate paragraph. Whoever I am, one half has to leave this paragraph. Yeah.

Fine, I’m leaving the one I started. Now, who am I?

I’m Don.

It’s a lie. I’m Saul.

But I’m Don.

May I use second-person perspective then?

Don thinks so.

Not funny. Okay, why are they laughing at us?

They’re laughing at you.

I fidget and stand perfectly still, arguing with a part of me that is Don. The drunks chuckle harder. It makes me uncomfortable, but I stand in place.

Thoughts are shorter now. I can’t be half of what I am.

And that half will have to survive with the fact it is now a whole. You can breathe, right?

I guess. Lemme try. I inhale consciously. Air fills my lungs. It’s not tasty. My mind drifts back inside before an ignorant exhalation breaks out.

Why are they laughing?

You cannot fly.

I can, watch me! I exclaim. That voice shouldn’t undermine my efforts. Maybe the next lamp post will work.


I’m silent, just like before, only my eyes shift rapidly. Maybe the voice is out there, not inside? No. My paragraph, get one of your own.

Fine. You’re too heavy to fly. I remain silent to my half. It continues. You’re trying to lift two wholes with the force of one half. A bird cannot fly with one wing.

It can, straight down!

So are we.

Oh, now it’s first person.

Three-two-one. If I am stuck here, we might as well get comfortable, Saul.

I dislike us already. Why couldn’t we occur when the sky was less lemon and more peach? The colours are beautiful this evening. Never have I seen them as affectionately as now. They used to be attainable and mine, but once I am void of a necessity, I must crave for it until the very thing returns to my possession.

Are we done?

Not quite. Someone is approaching us from the drunk side. I’ll hide in your paragraph. Wait!

He came up with a smell of a thousand dead mice. The muddy facial hair and dazed eyes made me understand the man was sad. No more than forty of age, he was already beginning to think half a life is too much, and the body should drown low to spring the soul up. Were it not for the words, I’d have pitied him longer.

“Give me twenty cents,” he said.

“I don’t speak English,” I spat back in his language.

“Help me, friend.”

Ah, I have his money, which makes me a friend. It’s sometimes scary to have friends. One’s acquaintance raises expectations, hopes that friendship will flourish into something profitable for the heart and body. I quiver from the smell of bonding and step back. A smile creeps up to my face. Being alone is much safer. It’s better and safer to be in self-captivity.

“I’m a student, I’m not your friend,” I stammer friendlily.

He grins, his arms swinging wide open. Those fat sausage-like hands extend to the sides like a plane’s wings. Dark-skinned fingers wiggling, the man lunges at me with a hug, but misses. Stepping forward caused a foot to misinterpret the law of gravity, so he swaggers to the side and kisses the sidewalk.

I am shocked. People no longer laugh. They approach me with discontent in their eyes. I am not their friend. Just a student. And a hurtful scholar at that. One of them winces in pain on the ground, sighing between irritated curses. Time to go to kindergarten. This would be better.

One jump atop the lamp post. They are beneath me, like the idle light. I’ll reach the sky and have my questions answered if I dared to ask any.

Insert laughter here.

That is impolite to say. Especially when I am more than four metres in the air, jumping to reach an ideal safehouse, where naïve dreams are not countered with friendship and backstabbing.

We’re not human.

Sure I am! Sure, I talk to myself, but I am sure that I am.



I am standing on a flat lamp top. What do I have to do, Don?

Stop going in a circle.

That’s right. I look around and see that instead of inching closer to the kid place, I was prancing back and forth while the ones I held beneath got their hands to besmirch my footholds. To the left, then. One more leap takes me to the brick store. I sit down on the roof, having found a spot free of bird droppings. Time to gather thoughts that managed to splitter all over the visible surroundings like the wiggling drunks on the pavement.

I’m confused. You are. Stop using my paragraphs.

It’s fun, though. Get me out!

Good idea. I want to fly, and you’re ballast. I look above the grey blocky buildings with squiggly corners into the translucent sky. The yellow turned purple, and oddly-shaped clouds started dyeing the peace above my head. A sigh escapes my lips while fingers twirl to reflect the gears in my head.

So, we’re turning back to second person?

Right, first person is better. But we can’t forget about the point. Don’t tell me I forgot to tell. Yes. And we agreed that I, Don, use a separate paragraph…unless I feel silly.

Since my own voice is speaking to me in my head, may I inquire some background?

Hah! I hadn’t chosen to be a part of this. I’m a female dreamer.

Dreams get us nowhere, dear. And that’s why we were running in circles on a straight line. It makes no sense as long as I keep thinking reality is unbendable.

Very fluid, actually. Were it not for its weak texture and temptation, I’d have never been the Don in Saul that we are.

Settle down. My original thoughts are messing up. I’m not used to this. And hey, how did we get between the two kindergartens? There’s a path forward, which leads into the valley. I know sunlight never reaches there.

It’s where rainbows begin.

Wow, I know the most useless things. Happy to, though. Boredom looms in the buildings on my sides. It is a plain neighborhood. We must get out, away from the incorrect segment of this twilight zone.

Gasps reach my ears. They are mine. Hands support me on the pre-school’s fence. Why am I tired? That’s right…half a man carrying two people inside.

One person in total. I’m not a leech, I am what I didn’t have, but now do. However, we both have something missing now. I’m surprised it hadn’t caused a headache yet.

This didn’t happen overnight. Half of us trickled away until we could no longer tell which part was it. When the call home happened, the pieces were closer to the opposite person.

Wait, so I’m telling me that…half of me is inside some girl with the name Don?


No waiii!

Settle down.

I can’t. There are drunks down there. Let’s go to the valley. I don’t know why, and neither do I, but-

Settle. It’s hyperventilating us both. I can’t feel outside myself, so just hope we find ourselves soon enough. The lemon sky was there for a reason. If you find that reason, we’ll both be able to have fun. As halves of another whole.

Which does not make any sense. I’m talking to myself and it gives me enough reason to shake the voices out of my head by dropping down from the roof. Sure, I won’t get hurt. I never do. Heck, jumping off balconies was my hobby before I appeared in this neighborhood.

Sigh. Stop manipulating because we’re at the fence. The valley is in front of us and we must go down there to find clues to make any sense of it. Just, don’t let me ask myself any more nonsense. Let’s walk while the story slowly streams through the mind. Move it, and don’t be ignorant that you are a breathing creature. Whenever a human being flea jumps on lamps and flickers images of roofs when he or she is on the ground, things are either grim or limitless.

I’m not dead.

Because I’m not dead either. I don’t know if one of us can die, since it’s impossible to kill half the mind or body.

Metaphysically speaking, that is impossible to understand just like the image of me tipping at the edge of a tall building, looking down at the grass several stories below. The wind is blowing in my face. I feel warm as I embrace the flight. No need for a dramatic jump. It’s enough to shift the weight forward with a loose smile. Earth will call upon me to descend, and I’ll swoop down like a bird, gliding the air we all breathe day in, day out. Mew!

Cut it out.

I can’t cut air.

I can’t allow either of me to sound like a kitten. It’s sinful.

But kittens are so lovely! You get to pet them, feed them, love them, and they’ll just scratch you. And, and…and when you need a soothing hug, you get their pity which feels more comforting than all the delights in the world together, like swimming on a feathery cloud.

Imagery works on those of weak will and mind. Concentrate. There is a valley in front of us. And open our eyes, for goodness sakes!

Those are bad sakes. Goodness is often too delicious not to cause evil consequences.

I know. That’s why I’m not using second person.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! This one's just for You~

Thursday, 11 February 2010


This essay is about abuse reports, guidelines and other intellectual essentials.

I've been troubled to explain why certain individuals report fictions on FFN. With this post, It'll be a lot easier to concentrate all relevant points in one place.

Let's start with the basic topic list and introduction.

1. Abuse Reports: What are they?
2. The Blue Book and Guidelines
3. Benefits of Reporting
4. Idle Consequences

5. Excuses/Questions

You may all guess the first four points are general, and the last one is of interest to anyone that has already experienced the result of an abuse report and/or requires mentoring on the issue of common questions people ask about reporting abuse.

1. Abuse Reports: What are they?

The Abuse Report is a way of communicating with the Fan Fiction dot Net (FFN) administration for FFN community members, visitors and bots. It is the only tool of enforcing quality control on the site, which depends on honesty and goodwill of its users. Every Possible Abuse Report is assessed in a case-by-case basis. Should a user's complaint be viable, disciplinary action is taken immediately in the form of irrevocable loss of artwork and a banning period, which extends after every infraction. Users that have performed horrendous acts lose the right to host an account on FFN.

With the whole process covered in a pill, we might go through every part.

-Possible Abuse located
-Possible Abuse reported
-Report Assessed
-Actions Taken

Let's try to locate abuse. I'll save you time searching for something horrible on the domain with a ready example.

Here is a story that users would report as abusive:

Why? It is a chatroom upload, not poetry or a novel. The rules are discussed in the next point, so don't worry if you're a bit confused.

We pick a category, write the message to describe the abuse as an illegal format and click 'send'.

The message then goes into queue in the administrator's machine. Usually, the queue takes two weeks with a cooldown period for the story's author to take action. Only usually because sometimes the responsible people are busy multi-tasking, so action is delayed. It gives the offensive story even more time to be fixed and tinkered with, so it's nice and acceptable.

When the time comes, the staff member clicks the story link that is automatically provided in an abuse report and reads for a story match of the words in the sent complaint. If such things are not found, the administrator smiles and carries on doing other things.

If the evil stuff is found and that story is still scripted after such a long period of time, the admin gasps and clicks the purge button. No more story.

Other possible actions include: a temporary ban on posting content (from a week to 90 days), account deletion, IP address blacklisting. The last one is fairly new, according to the fresh version of Terms of Service (TOS). That's also the most extreme method of assuring proper order. Bear in mind that FFN is a network, so banned users would be unable to access other domains such as Fiction Press. You are informed of the disciplinary consequences unless it is a complete expulsion. The last instance is irreversible and no account holder has been known to be brought back to activity after appearing on the black list.

In case you are wondering what triggers certain response, look at the second point!

2. The Blue Book and Guidelines

Upon signing up, you are given a claim that your age is 13 or above, and you have the TOS presented, to which you must agree before joining. Remember, to receive the right to upload content and become a member, you accept full responsibility for your actions as well as the administration's authority. You promise to honour these responsibilities, and your decision is forever recorded.

Not reading the TOS is bad. This is not MS Windows with a mile-long disclaimer, so the document is shorter and contains pretty useful information. Remember that the TOS are changed from time to time without informing users. But you won't even know the administrator has the right to change the rules of the game if you don't read that information in the first place! More knowing means more armed. Let's get weapons of understanding. I've quoted some extracts from Terms of Service as of February, 2010.

Some members have claimed that they've found loopholes in the official text. Allow me to inform you, the public, that it is not true. Any misinterpretation of the domain's regulations leads to negative consequences. The site values trust, not lawyer excuses. As soon as you start using a missing word to defend a case, know that trust is lost, and you are reduced to semantic prowling. Until the domain switches for federal ownership, actual people who see beyond excuses and falsified logics remain in the administration. FFN is a friend, not a judge. Respect your friends!

Terms of Service: (with italicised commentary)

"These Terms of Service apply to all users of the FanFiction.Net Website." All are equal.

"FanFiction.Net may, in its sole discretion, modify or revise these Terms of Service and policies at any time, and you agree to be bound by such modifications or revisions."

"You may never use another's account without permission."

"When creating your account, you must provide accurate and complete information."

"You agree not to alter or modify any part of the Website."
No revolts.

"You agree not to use the Website for any commercial use."

Commercial use such as: "use of the Website or its related services for the primary purpose of gaining advertising or subscription revenue" No advertising of links/products.

"You understand that when using the FanFiction.Net Website, you will be exposed to User Submissions from a variety of sources, and that FanFiction.Net is not responsible for" it.

"You shall be solely responsible for your own User Submissions and the consequences of posting or publishing them."

"You understand and agree, however, that FanFiction.Net may retain, but not display, distribute, or perform, server copies of User Submissions that have been removed"

"You further agree that you will not, in connection with User Submissions, submit material that is contrary to the FanFiction.Net Community Guidelines."

"FanFiction.Net will terminate a User's access to its Website if, under appropriate circumstances, the User is determined to be an infringer."

"FanFiction.Net reserves the right to decide whether Content or a User Submission is appropriate and complies with these Terms of Service for violations other than copyright infringement or privacy law, such as, but not limited to, hate crimes, pornography, obscene or defamatory material, or excessive length."

"FanFiction.Net may remove such User Submissions and/or terminate a User's access for uploading such material in violation of these Terms of Service at any time, without prior notice and at its sole discretion."

"You affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the FanFiction.Net Website is not intended for children under 13." You are expected to be 13+ old if you enter FFN even to read, not write.

"You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless FanFiction.Net" Defend FFN, do not threaten it! Or banland....

Here are a few extracts from the Privacy Policy. Less exciting, but useful to know.

Privacy Policy

"We do not rent or sell your personally identifying information to other companies or individuals, unless ... we are required by law or have a good faith belief that access, preservation or disclosure of such information is reasonably necessary to protect the rights, property or safety of FanFiction.Net, its users or the public."

And now the main ingredient, the actual meat of the rule book, the Community Guidelines (Guidelines in short).


They are easily found in the login area, and you accept them once in a while. The page also includes ratings, some of which are not acceptable on FFN for specialisation reasons. The ones excluded are the B supplement for pre-school children reading Simple English, and the MA rating that may contain adult themes or excessive swearing.

The guidelines are divided into sections. Community Etiquette, Entries Not Allowed, Actions Not Allowed and General Rules. I'll provide you the excerpts of rules that are not redundant with italicised commentary.

First section:

"Spell check all story and poetry. There is no excuse for not performing this duty."

"Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors ... it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability."

"Respect the reviewers." Respect ALL reviewers, no exclusions. You are behaving against the guidelines if you disrespect any reviewer, and can lose the account.

"Using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself."

Entries not allowed

"Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc." Also includes character submission sheets, shout outs to the public, quotes from books, teasers for the upcoming story.

"One or two liners." The author's note is not included in the line count.

"MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story." No copying from Wikipedia articles or news feeds with your laughing comments.

"Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc." No fics about the Jonas Brothers until they're graveyard history.

"Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc." Includes voting, asking to visit links, asking to call numbers, asking to submit characters, using any other word to hide that it is asking while doing so, asking for ideas, addressing reviewers directly in long notes by name, asking questions directly.

"Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries."

Actions Not Allowed.

"Copying from a previously published work (including musical lyrics) not in the public domain." Plagiarising lyrics in your creative work is not creative. No songs at all!

General Rules

"Entry title and summary must be rated G for all audience." No swearing, no teenage themes, no blood or gore, should be suitable for children aged FIVE.

"Entry must be given the proper rating." No hiding MA as M.

"Entry must be placed in proper category." Crossovers belong in the crossover section.

"Chapters of the same story are not allowed to be submitted as separate entries." Get a beta reader to help you navigate through the login area if you are unable to submit chapters. Also, you are to have a separate file for each chapter.

These are the expectations you have. You accept all of it before posting. Responsibility comes first. You get rights only when you admit being fully responsible for yourself, and realise what will happen if you break the domain's trust.

3. Benefits of Reporting

Why report an illegal fan fiction? For a start, it's one of the responsibilities that come in protecting FFN, as mentioned in the TOS. It is also your right and nobody can condemn you for doing so. Also, it is the only way of assuring good quality front and centre, the only way that always works.

The benefits of a control switch like that are many, and I'll point out only some, so that this essay does not grow out of proportion. The most obvious one is the rise of overall quality on FFN. Currently, the domain is not considered fine or good by users of other websites. Since FFN users are expected to keep the domain's market share, not being a laughing stock is a part of it. When the number of low quality uploads with, say, abishmal spieling, goes down to zero, everyone immediately sees change. Wonderful spelling and English are what makes sites such as Fiction Press feel very elite, above FFN. When the bad examples they point out to support their claims of our fan fiction site being horrible disappear, the FP people don't have an argument, so we're even.

Report a bad story. Don't give others a reason to laugh at us.

Moreover, when you assure a story's removal, the number of faulty examples of a particular infraction in a particular fandom decreases. It discourages others from making the same mistakes by thinking they can do just about anything without consequence.

Report a bad story. Teach the community that crime does not pay.

On top of all that, reporting a faulty work bumps up the low-end margin. It encourages people who think 'my work is not the worst' to do a reality check, because when the safety evil spiral disintegrates from below, they know improvement is the only way until the burn gets to them. This generally reduces the amount of excuses and makes people strive for improvement, looking up.

Report a bad story. Raise the ante for poor authors.

But these are more in-community benefits. There are pros that spend time reading things on the site. For them, it's very pleasant to see a page of neatly rated fictions. It looks promising, and lucrative. In fact, the domain must offer a reading pleasure for so many people, it's worth investing into it, adding more bandwidth and customised features to make the writing community flourish.

Report a bad story. Get new features and benefits.

And it doesn't end there. Whole families that browse and decide which hobbies would help their children excel in various skills would be happy to see no stories with bad spelling or swearing ('I CUNT SUMMARISE'). It would assure that their kids shouldn't be limited from accessing the website. Instead, they should be given the opportunity to write here because the stories are so swell, and they'd make a wonderful example to lead them on into great deed territory.

Report a bad story. Make Bob's parents happy.

And let's not forget that there are always legal issues FFN users are assigned to defend the site from. Bear in mind that if evil people start plagiarising or doing extremely bad things to English in a particular fandom, huge consequences might follow. The domain already has a specific no-post list. It is growing. Several original authors have shunned FFN, not allowing us to write about their works here. Their fans were not happy, but had to relinquish the works. What if Nintendo decides that the Zelda fandom has to go or the site will be closed? What if the Jonas Brothers feel that FFN is out of control? It all seems implausible until it happens to someone close to you.

Report a bad story. Save whole fandoms from legal destruction.

4. Idle Consequences

The benefits established, you may only wonder what will happen if abuse reports are no longer used for people that don't bother to improve into legal territory. Actually, you don't have to wander. Just check my previous blog post for illustration in a particular fandom.

I'll point out a few of the downsides of leaving things to lay quietly without action.

No respect to Language.

Were it not for the report button, one would be unable to prove an assaulting user that language does matter and it is the cornerstone of respectful story presentation. If you don't report a stubborn user's faulty writing, they are not motivated to improve their language.

No respect to readers

Don't report and you have no realistic leverage against disrespectful people that write abysmal works and then laugh at anyone that reviews or plagiarise said reviews for the sake of amusement.

Abusing Ratings

When evil community members don't wish to disclose a proper rating or include inappropriate content, they try to swallow a greater number of innocent readers and steal attention from fictions the authors of which have actually bothered to prepare a reader-friendly welcome.

Unfair Game

A scripted story takes less time to write than prose. An interactive entry takes less thoughts from the author than a proper novel. Both of these would get more feedback because people wish to solicit ideas and help. In reality, they are falling victim to a stat boosting game, which eventually kills the review as we know it. Review boards turn into forums and the story itself turns into a forum for those involved, while any outsider would consider it a useless clutter. By harvesting reviewer time, these monsters once again steal the spotlight off good fictions written with love, detail and dedication.

Bad Example

And when that happens, authors who have tried hard without any illegal takes either leave or jump in the bandwagon, further deteriorating the website. Seriously, why write a story with depth and characterisation, when you can have Sex in Virgin Valley: Cock Chronicles? With "Submit your positions and I'll write them. Choose your fave characters, too!" in the summary. That kind of writing requires a faceless schematic on an animal level. No planning required. And submissions themselves become a lottery, while popularity of such a monstrosity casts a shade over everyone that doesn't join in the abuse. Once again, why write good if you can write badly and get the same results? Don't erase the bad example: inspire people to deteriorate into the gutter, and call it a very artsy deterioration.

Don't report. Sacrifice FFN on the altar of evil.

Naturally, this applies only when the kind word does not work.

5. Excuses/Questions

This is the last and best part in the entire essay, the excuse depository for every possible argument against reporting illegal fan fiction being wrong.

There are sections: Novice Arguments, Liberal Arguments, Popularity Arguments. The excuses themselves are in no particular order.

Novice Arguments.

#1N. "This is my *insert number* story! I'm improving!"
Improvement has little to do with violating the TOS, Guidelines or Etiquette. Beta readers can be assigned tasks of assuring quality language, and the user claims to have read and understood all the domain's regulations before posting every story.

#2N. "I didn't read the rules!"
Signing any document without reading it leads to great woe in a capitalist society. A fool and his money are soon to be parted, and that is the consequence of ignorance. You take full responsibility for your actions. Post-factum excuses do not save a work; they only exacerbate weakness.

#3N. "I wrote this for my friend *insert name here*!"
FFN is a public domain. Email works well for personal writings. Yours truly uses that and IM clients for personal exchanges. FFN is a public space; therefore, it is irrational to use a dedication as an excuse. Also, it does not reduce the fact of it being illegal or excuse from penalties. Dedicating a crime to Bob does not make the crime any less evil. I'm sure Bob would be scared to have crime committed in his name...

#4N. "It'll get better later!"
Irrelevant. The abuse report regards one chapter and one chapter only. Unless the later refers to improving the chapter in the next few hours, that is no excuse for idleness. Such promises do not change the fact of a story being flagged for deletion. They cut dialogue short often, so stories end up off the site.

#5N. "You're lying!"
This one is impossible to counter because it's like explaining an infant how a thermonuclear reaction makes the sun shine. It's best to just say: "Trust me. Like the admin does."

#6N. "You're not the boss of me!"
The administrator is. When the boss hears of you going loopy and ripping off kind readers with illegal content, the feathers are gonna fly. Once an abuse report has been sent, there's no way to take it back. Just like sending an email or a regular letter. Irrevocable decisions. Crying about superiority does not revoke them. Remember that the admins can see all of your personal messages, so they can track your whines and increase the penalty.

#7N. "I worked really hard on this story!"
So making a few more fix-ups would not be a problem. A caring author cares for a story's healthy lifespan. If complaints and whining are the way you treat your story challenges, maybe writing isn't the right hobby for you? Fear of loss is an extra motivator to improve in this case. Otherwise, the statement is a poor excuse and hypocrisy.

#8N. "You're just ruining my fun. I hate you"
FFN is about fun if you stay within the guidelines. If not, it's torture. There are other websites you can post on. Nobody is forcing you to stay here. However, reminding people that their story is abusive does not even sound like ruining anyone's fun if you consider the admin may remove the account when nothing is done to fix the situation. Wouldn't that really ruin the fun for you? Pointing out the truth is the beginning of a fruitful dialogue. Nothing can survive on lies for long, not even a hypocrite.

#9N. "My story is gone, I'll kill you!"
Harassing a fellow user with threats and losing integrity as a community member is an infraction. Bear in mind that a lost story is not the end of the writing world. Getting yourself banned for further misdemeanour is the end of it on FFN. Consider your priorities before attacking those, who willingly reduce the amount of filth on the domain.


#1L. "It's my story; I do what I want!"
Incorrect. FFN takes the worldwide licensing rights of the fiction, which is a legal question for the first fragment. The second fragment is countered with the agreement to uphold and honour the domain's regulations. Anarchy is not an allowable form of conduct.

#2L. "Don't like it, don't read it!"
The issue is not of like or dislike. One cannot project an opinion whether something is written in chat format or not. If the statement is about not liking illegal content, the reply is very simple. One does not need to read a whole scripted chapter to decide that it is illegal. Glancing is enough, which would make the exclamation redundant. Also, informing a user of the abuse report should motivate to improve, not limit communication between the two parties. It leads to no exchange of useful information and the report causing losses.

#3L. "The site should allow me to write *insert illegal entry here*."
You agree in the TOS not to alter the website. You agreed to the set of responsibilities and rights you were given, so any belated whining is voided by your contract with FFN. One cannot deny the documented existence of your agreement with FFN. Remember that the domain is privately-owned. You are not a shareholder, and your opinion is irrelevant. Buy the website and you will be allowed. Until you do, rules apply to all.

#4L. "The rules were different when I joined!"
However, you are to get along with the times or be deemed obsolete. Living in the past leads to tremendous problems in the future, so fixing an illegal story into a legal shape is essential to save it. The excuse does not prevent abuse reports. FFN went towards specialisation, and dumped such thins as lists, chat format, adult content and original fiction, which were adopted by sister sites such as Fiction Press and Adult Fan Fiction. Nobody is leashing you to the site.

#5L. "The site's motto is: 'Unleash your imagination'! You're limiting it!"
Commercial slogans are a set of marketable words. The motto used to be: "Unleash your imagination and free your soul," but that one shortened down. It's nice that FFN's marketing works well on you, but you are not to believe every ad you see. In other words, you are to unleash your imagination*
*Rules and Conditions apply.

#6L. "You're not letting me be creative."
Anyone can work in a mansion surrounded by beautiful scenery and lush lawns on the hillside. However, it takes a real artist to make the plain look special. It's a challenge of creating added value where it is not. True creativity does not take. It shares. It gives. FFN is as free as your lust and arrogance deem it. For some people, rules are very obvious and they exist without a need for extra reference. For some others, they are a constant hindrance because they want fame and attention with minimum effort. Cutting corners too much is bound to slash someone's throat sooner or later, and that, dear colleagues, is illegal even in the real world.

#7L. "Murder is not at all like breaking the rules!"
FFN bleeds quality. People bleed fluids. On a metaphysical level, it's the same. On a philosophical level, vibrations of a greedy hypocrite that willingly breaks the rules are equal to that of a child molester ready to strike another victim. It's all illegal, so they're brothers in arms. Are you a molester's brother?

#8L. "You're saying the slogan lies?"
No, I'm saying the slogan is a slogan, not an axiom and/or a pure holy principle. It is to be taken with a pinch of salt like every "buy one Bob for the price of two" advertising scheme. Besides, if you require crime to be imaginative, there are other sites, and institutions you can visit.

#9L. "You're evil for reporting."
Exercising one's rights is not evil. It is only silly to undermine one's rights because they do not allow one to live up to the full capacity within the frame of proper society. There is a misconception that an anarchist has when facing the long arm of the law. Disagreeing with a reporting party's decision does not void the abuse report.


#1P. "Others like this story"
Others don't prevent deletion. In fact, only you can prevent your story from being pulled down by editing the illegal content out as soon as possible. If other reviewers really liked your work, they would have pointed out that the story is illegal. Fans care and are not afraid to tell when the gold turns to rotten apples. Otherwise, they're just yes men that are quite ugly to have around. They don't speak the truth.

#2P. "I have more reviewers than you, so shush"
Stories with eight-thousand reviews disappeared in the past, and stories with over a hundred chapters also poofed into the abyss. Review counts do not give any leverage against any single abuse report.

#3P. "I'll send my fans after you!"
Fans cannot get a story back. Petitions, protests, shouting and bothering the staff can only make matters worse. Remember the TOS? No right to alter the domain. Trying to foist changes through fandom rebounds on everyone. Script writers went too far in the past. And the administrator forbade script. List posters went the same way. What dastardly rule will your uproar cause?

#4P. "You're ruining it for all of my fans!"
See #1P. Real fans mean well for the story and the author. If they are real fans, they are really honest and helpful. Ignoring illegal content is just brewing cancer until it becomes a large problem difficult to treat from the story. If other readers did not point out the infraction, it's your fault for not asking for advice, and their fault for not offering a reality check. Get real!

#5P. "My friends will leave the site if this story is removed!"
No writer that has made a proper career on FFN would leave. That I guarantee. As for the flingy visitors that can fly away, these are not predictable to start with, so the domain won't feel any change. Threatening after an abuse report is sent is useless. The report cannot be stopped.

#6P. "There are more stories like mine, you'll never get rid of them!"
Abuse reports are easy to write. Were it not for the helpful queue that gives you improvement time, all of those stories would have been gone, but the administration is merciful and allows dialogue. Only the stubborn criminals are punished.

#7P. "A lot of people will leave the site!"
Script was banned years ago. The site grew. MA was banned years ago. The site grew. If we draw conclusions from these unrelated points, the threat will make the site grow even more. No idea how it works exactly, but the threat would make no change.

#8P. "There are worse stories than mine. Get rid of them first before you get mine."
Is a classic excuse. Keeping up with the Joneses. It's also a classic example of raising oneself by belittling others. "That girl has a torn dress, so I'm awesome." Look up, not down. There are better stories than yours, so you should improve. Besides, the abuse report was already sent, and those other stories will follow suit at the right time.

Remember, readers: as soon as the abuse report is sent, all arguing may come to a halt. God was called to decide who is right and any speculation is just empty hot air. Take action and improve instead of using idle excuses. After all, that is what abuse reports were for: motivating everyone, even the poorest souls to excel and get up from the muddy ground.

Have a nice, abuse-free day.