Rantlings

Hello and Good Day!

I'm dedicating this post to a few amusing correspondences I've had with fellow authors.

There are probably over five-hundred humorous stories I could tell from my fan fiction dot net experience. Here's some of them.

This one occurred way back in 2006, I've reviewed the first chapter of a story by Linds the Stupid previously known as shadow the hedgyhog. It was posted for a story entitled In my house

My replies should be more or less evident. I'm not going to emphasize certain parts, so You would find something silly for yourself.

"YOU ONLY READ THE FRIGGIN FIRST CHAPTER! I HAVE BEEN GETTING BETTER"
"You better have not reported me or your in for a world of hurt."
"You don't scare me i got it all saved on word pad."
"Yeah well right now i'm scanning your story's for a good reason to report them."
"I'm not going to inform you bitch i'm going to inform fanfiction dot net if i find some thing"
"Sigh your lucky your damn story's are so fucking boring i can't read them!"

The next one is from 2007. by bearerofthesword.

"it is ment for a laugh not a good read. i did not come here to give you the type of story you wished to see. instead i wrote a story that people like me would want to see. a story that is so horrible that it makes you laugh. not a story thatt has a good story line, intresting charecters, and a plot. i am sorry in advance for all spelling and grammar issues ... what i do have to say about that though is that there are people that do look for random crap in a story. that is who i intended to read this story. before i had put up part two i had not read the guidlines"

Just reading the guidelines and using a spellchecker would have been enough to save that person a long trip to hell and back. Even if people look for crap, abuse reports make that less common.

You could probably see those stories don't exist anymore. My words are backed by actions, dear readers.

This next one is from 2009, done with Haze the Chameleon. The whole is about this story. No, I didn't report it. Life's full of surprises, eh? My replies are in single quotation marks.

"Listen you. Your review is too long"
'Next time I'll review you with a period'
"Are you making fun of me"
'.'

Call it some innocent shenanigans. When I get a complaint like that, you can't expect me to write a bogus 10-line reply. Besides, at least you, dear readers, can get a laugh for free.

Another recent shot at my conversations would be this:

"thanks for making me feel so wonderful -_-"
"title fixed. huge ranting fixed. the two spelling complaints fixed. anything else you'd lie to make me feel awful about"

More should be added in the future, but I want to treat you with some anonymous fun. Some of these authors have acted amusing only once, and I would wish to keep their identities a secret. Besides, it's all for the love of you, readers!

"Wow, you are a damn faggot! Son of a Bitch!!!
-Thunder"
What I've found humorous in this one is that the author didn't forget to sign. Ah, it's heart-warming to receive a personalised SIGNED response.

"Excuse me? Authoress? I'm a guy! But anyways, thanks for the constructive
critisism."
Sometimes, I just take a blindfold and assume. When I'm wrong, people say the funniest things.

"Your pathetic quotes are DRIVING AUTHORS NUTS!"
Capital Craziness. Though, now I know my quotes can drive.

"why are judging my 'if you want I'll put you original character' policy that happens
to be a trend that I am willingly following of my own choice"
And may that be a lesson for all of you: think this way AFTER your story is removed.

"Is that a flame or a complement? What do you mean "Bounced off the site"?"
Apparently, not everyone is destined to understand.

"It will be a few days before I submit more. So be happy."
Some authors threaten me with their writing. It works...

"I did read the guidelines, but remeber just a bit more vaygely."
Pill time, sir!

"Yha, I plan to take a few remedial English courses
Mad? … why am I mad?"
I like how remedial doesn't explain madness.

"Wow, that was not a good review! Unless you do that to all stories, then I consider this to be the worst review I have ever gotten! I will talk about every bit you have written!"
The first sentence is logical. You say 'wow' when you see something bad. Unless everyone got such an amount of 'badness', it is 'the worst'. Yes, you don't get reviews like 'nice story!' talked about in detail :3

"I have to reply to your reply."
Because it's the only way to go.

"1. I've got PLENTY of time to waste with people like you.
2. I'm not entirely sure what you just said. XD"
Understanding takes PLENTY.

"Fuck you, those OCs aren't me & ten clones, I just described Silver Star
using myself but she's a different person."
Yes, describing yourself as a different person to...describe a furball...is not cloning!

"shut up! I haven't done a thing to you! Don't like it don't read it! I write about my characters because it's easier!"
Really? I just thought self-inserts were kool ^_^

"hahaha i knew i was going to get critisised for this particular fanfic xD "
Sometimes I wonder whether kamikaze genes are inheritable.

And that should be it for now.

Sleep well, readers. See you in the funny corner!

/Version squigglers rendered offline./

/Version sunder rendered oline./